The question my clients ask me most at the beginning of a new year is, “When will I meet my soulmate?” Understandably, being with our soulmate is something we all dream of. The reason so few of us actually encounter our heart’s other half is because we don’t prepare ourselves to receive him or her in our lives.
Love is purely energetic in nature; it’s not a tangible object and there’s no explaining how, why, or with whom you fall in love. No machine has been invented (yet) that can calculate your compatibility with other people and pinpoint who your soulmate is. Deep relationships are divinely inspired and for this reason, your best catalyst to a great relationship is your own energy: your thoughts, emotions, desire, and inner power. Harness your energetic potential and you will be brought to the person who’s just right for you.
Implement these eight keys to clear your relationship roadblocks and meet the missing piece of your puzzle:
Believe in your soulmate. Half of the work of finding your soulmate is believing that he or she exists. What creates our reality is our conviction: if you believe something, does it not become true for you? If you’re skeptical that a love of these proportions can exist and are convinced that your only choice is to settle, you’ll never be shown otherwise. But if you acknowledge that there is a perfect person for you, the universe will reflect your beliefs.
Know that you deserve it. In life, you never receive anything you don’t think you deserve; you block it subconsciously from happening. The first secret of people who seem to “have it all” is that they’ve recognized they merit all the good in this world. Well you do, too. You deserve not just any kind of love, but unconditional love. You are worthy of a partner who meets your every need, and you theirs. Even if you’ve made mistakes in your past, if you’ve hurt people or have been hurt, or you don’t believe enough in yourself, you deserve to be with the person who uplifts your spirit and nurtures your soul.
Heal from your past. Knowing that you deserve amazing love works hand in hand with healing from your past. You can’t move forward if old pains still weigh you down; you will remain permanently fixed in an unhappy place. Healing from the past involves much introspection, forgiveness, and the eradication of fear and resentment. Shedding negative emotions and misconceptions opens the channels of love to flow freely. The easiest way to do this is to keep an “emotion log” throughout the day: jot down how you feel periodically as your day progresses, paying attention to negative emotions that keep cropping up. Who and what is causing you feel bad, and how can you keep it from happening? Abandon your old ways and bad habits that have led to failed relationships. Make a note of the mistakes you’ve made in previous romances, and remain vigilant not to repeat them. Close open doors, like not remaining in contact with former flames or dwelling on heartbreak you suffered long ago.
Be authentic. There’s no need to do what everyone else is doing to secure a partner, or go where everyone else is going to meet new love interests. Follow your own path. Embrace the totality of your being, accepting your flaws and weaknesses. To the person who falls in love with you, these are your secret strengths. Nothing is more attractive to a man than confidence and self-assurance, and nothing is more charming to a woman than honesty and good intentions. The more authentic you are the more likely you are to attract a person who adores the real you. It’s difficult to come across the person who complements you if you’re constantly doubtful, insecure, angry, distrusting, or in a bad mood. If this sounds like you, stop and think: When did I become like this? What sort of impression am I giving off to potential partners? You have to give off what you want to get. To attract a genuine, caring, kind-spirited person, you have to be one.
Cut off bad energy. Sometimes it’s the bad vibes of friends or relatives that deter us from good relationships. An easy way to determine how specific persons affect your energy is to pay attention to how you feel around them. You might have an obligation to go to work, but does your boss, coworker, or the environment leave you deprived, exhausted, even with a headache? Do you notice that right after you disclose something positive that happened for you to a jealous friend, that positive thing suddenly disappears? Or does one of your family members put so much pressure on you that you find yourself getting jittery, anxious, or frustrated with everything around you? No one has the right to alter your mood, much less your love life. Their energies can build up and become trapped in your being, preventing you from making progress in your relationships. Cleanse yourself regularly by taking baths in salt, baking soda, or apple cider vinegar, as these agents are particularly effective at purifying your energy field. Don’t feel bad to leave behind those who keep you behind; this is your time to concentrate on finding your soulmate, not tending to other people’s problems.
Trust your intuition. You may get the gut feeling to go out to a particular place or event—do it! Soulmates communicate energetically, so if you’re intuitively drawn to a certain person or location, pursue your feeling. The same goes for the red flags you might pick up on when you meet someone: if it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t, no matter how many “excuses” the person provides. Allow your instincts to steer you clear of ill-intentioned partners and guide you towards a fulfilling relationship.
Practice rituals. I’m a firm believer in the strength of affirmations, visualizations, and manifestation writing. Tell yourself each morning that you release your impediments and that you welcome in new love. Breathe deeply and imagine any negativity escaping as you exhale. Affirm to yourself constantly. You can say things like, “I am inviting genuine love into my life” and “Today is the day I meet the man who completes me.” Affirmations rewire the neurons in your brain so that they form pathways to more positive beliefs in time. Close your eyes and see yourself meeting a wonderful person. How will he or she look? What will you be wearing that day? Where will you be? Take your time and indulge in the details of your daydream. Then, write it all down in the present tense, as if it were happing right now. Maybe you won’t meet your soulmate exactly in the manner you envisioned, but I promise you that you’ll have picked up some pertinent details! Most importantly, when your intentions begin to take shape in the real world, don’t miss a single opportunity: let your friend introduce you to that person she thinks you’ll like, have a chat with the stranger who keeps smiling at you, and ask your crush out for a coffee. When you’ve been practicing empowering rituals, miracles can happen.
Understand your divine timing. We may follow the clock on our wall, but the universe has no notion of human timing. It works instead on divine timing, bringing us to certain experiences when we least expected or planned. I’ve had clients who met their special person in their teens, and those who fell madly in love in their 70s! The most incredible thing about our ability to love is that it never expires. So maybe you haven’t met your soulmate yet, but that’s because you had several lessons to learn first. And if you wouldn’t have learned these lessons, your relationship would have been affected. Remember that the quicker you pass your tests, the quicker you’re ready for more rewarding experiences. It is never too early or too late to give and receive unconditional love.
Follow my eight steps to ring in love in the new year and establish a stable, soulful relationship.
Dr. Carmen Harra